Book Review Time!

I read a wonderful book last week: The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom.  This is a story about a white indentured servant named Lavinia.  She is orphaned on a transcontinental journey from Ireland.  The ship's captain takes her in and she lives with the black slaves on his plantation in Virginia.  As Lavinia grows up she is surrounded by heartbreak, pain, fear and abuse. 

Each character is beautifully developed.  The author created incredible strength and bitter weaknesses within each character.  While I could not personally relate to the issues presented, since the novel takes place in the late 1800s, I appreciated the way each character responded to the difficult circumstances presented in the story.  They respond genuinely to the heartbreak and abuse rained on them.   

The story is masterfully crafted.  The plot is not contrived or unbelievable.  I laughed, I cried, I got angry.  I am certain I could not do the story justice, no matter how I praise it.  Please know I truly loved this novel and I plan to read it again in the future.  It was simply wonderful. 

Wow, that was rough

I ended my evening by eating gluten-free cookies and drinking dessert wine.  It was wonderful to veg on the couch in front of the television accompanied by my two favorite vices: cookies and wine.  Sadly, the gluten-free cookies I made out of the box were disappointing.  Luckily wine is gluten-free so at least one of my favorite things is staying the same.  I have not had a need for a night like this for a while.  Grated, it was tough when I was in pain. However, I had narcotics to bring me some relief.  Thus, the gluttonous evenings were averted.  However, tonight my pain is more emotional, which makes it much more difficult assuage. 

We had Panda Girl's well child visit today.  Normally these are relatively uneventful trips to the doctor.  Dr. Alex asked me if I had any concerns.  I mentioned that Panda Girl is still needing her reflux meds twice a day.  We have tried taking her off of them several times in her short life, but have never been successful.  She is always miserable off the meds, thus making her parents miserable in the process.  Most children outgrow reflux by about six months of age.  Sweet Pea was about fourteen months when she was finally able to be taken off her medication.  So, I had not been worried until recently. 

Dr. Alex agreed that mine was a valid concern.  He had a couple suggestions of tests we had not run on her yet.  He wanted to do a blood test for food allergies and celiac.  I almost fell out of my chair in that moment.  I had not yet mentioned my current gluten-free status.  I sat there staring at him for a moment.  Then I pulled it together and mentioned my recent issues.  Then he stunned me: our pediatrician has celiac disease.  He went  on to suggest the best brands of foods and the most gluten-friendly restaurants he had found in his two years of living with his diagnosis.  He also assured me it was well worth the sacrifice because he feels much better.  I was relieved to find someone I know and trust with my disease.  While I am not close friends with this man, I do feel that if I had any questions he would be more than happy to answer them for me.  I do not believe in coincidences, so I feel blessed that God guided me to him over four years ago when we were searching for a doctor for Sweet Pea. 

After more discussion around Panda Girl's development, he sent me off to get blood work done on both girls (he recommended testing Sweet Pea for celiac as well).  It wasn't until the nurses called us into a separate room from the in-house lab that I realized this was going to be much harder than I expected.  They needed to collect at least one full vial of blood from each little lady.  Not fun.  I had Sweet Pea go first because I thought she would be better able to calm down quickly after the trauma.  The nurses found her vein quickly and we had her off the table and away from the offending needle in record time.  She calmed down pretty quickly, but she is Sweet Pea so she was dramatic about the whole situation.  At that point I hoped the worst was over.  Oh was I wrong.

I picked up a worried Panda Girl and placed her on the table.  She started to cry, but she did lie down for me.  The nurses then proceeded to search for a vein they could use.  They had no luck with the right arm.  They suggested trying the left arm instead.  So we proceeded with the left arm.  Sadly Panda Girl is tiny and her veins like to be "slippery".  Apparently slippery means we had to torture Panda Girl to get any blood from her.  She never flinched.  She stayed still.  She cried, but she was amazingly brave as the nurse dug around in her arm for that evasive vein.  In the end we hoped we got enough blood.  We may have to go back, but I didn't want to traumatize her any more than necessary.  We went back to the lab where she did have to have a needle stick to have a CBC, but it was over quickly and she was proudly carrying around her lollipop when we left. 

At home I treated the little ladies to a lunch of greek yogurt with chocolate chips added as a fun treat.  I also spoiled them with some chocolate milk.  After they were in bed for their naps my phone rang.  The nurse at Dr Alex's office needed the phone number of the pharmacy I use.  Evidently, Panda Girl is anemic.  Sigh.  Fantastic.  Now in addition to her twice daily prevacid doses, she needs iron supplementation.  We will start that tomorrow.  Poor baby.

Since Panda Girl needed so much attention today, Sweet Pea threw several temper tantrums and refused to go to bed tonight.  Thus, by the end of the day I was done.  I could barely look at Sweet Pea without wanting to yell at her and I could barely look at Panda Girl without wanting to cry.  Therefore, in lieu of the yelling and the crying I chose wine and cookies.  While not the best choice for my waistline, it was the best choice for my psyche.

Book Review Time!

I have been busy reading lately.  I have had lots of time in the last month where all I could do was lay down to try to escape my pain.  During that time I read an amazing book, Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese.  This is Verghese's first novel but not his first literary endeavor.  He has also written a couple of memoirs.  Let me tell you, I am wanting to go read those memoirs right now.  He is an amazing writer who can use words to convey difficult concepts simply and concisely.  One example I highlighted, "The key to your happiness is to own your slippers, own who you are, own how you look, own your family, own the talents you have, and own the ones you don't.  If you keep saying your slippers aren't yours, then you'll die searching, you'll die bitter, always feeling you were promised more."  As I wrote, he has a way with words.

The basic story follows the main character, Marion, from birth to adulthood.  His is a story of abandonment, heartbreak, anger and sadness.  He is richly drawn in a way that allows you feel you truly understand him.  You may not always agree with him or like him, but you understand him.  His character was not the only well developed one. I felt that all the characters were described beautifully and thoroughly.

The story has an element of mystery.  There are some parts of the plot you must wait until the author allows them to unfold naturally.  No part of the story felt forced or unbelievable.  In many ways this is historical fiction.  However, the author does not feel confined by actual history in all situations.  There is a coup that is based on an actual event, however the timeline is vastly different from history.  Thus, this is not a book to read to learn about the history of Ethiopia.  However, it is an amazing story and a fabulous book.  I highly, highly recommend this book.

Update on Gluten

I know many of you are bored to tears of me talking about my tummy problems.  Sorry, I have had some people ask to be kept aprised of the situation and this is the easiest way to get the message out to the masses.  I have been gluten-free for a couple of days now.  Wow, what a difference.  My intense tummy pain is gone.  I have not needed a single pain pill.  My energy is way up.  I had been barely making it to nap time before I would also crash into a sounds sleep every day.  The last two days I have not needed one.  I even had energy to spare last night.  Thus, I believe my quest to find out what is wrong has come to a conclusion.  I have no idea what the biopsy results are from Thursday, but I feel so much better that it does not even matter.  I will be off gluten from here on out.  There are many things I will miss, but my massive pain is not one of those things.  I did find a gluten free bakery in town.  I am thrilled.  The proprietor also offers services where she will help you learn how to eat gluten-free.  I sent her an email and I hope she will be able to help as she offered.  I truly need a mentor on this culinary journey.

Pondering Panda Girl

Today I am recuperating from my upper endoscopy and trying to start eating gluten-free.  My goal today was to be productive, but not have to exert too much.  I looked at my desk, leaden with paperwork, and saw the preschool enrollment forms I have been ignoring.  I decided today was the perfect opportunity to conquer the mountain.  I signed all the requisite safety forms.  Filled out the directory information for both little ladies.  Then I got to the questionnaire asking specific information about each little lady.  It is extensive.  I filled it out last year for Sweet Pea.  Thus I had spent time last year pondering the intricacies of her personality.  I had explored her idiosyncrasies and dutifully written copious explanations regarding her unique traits.  So, this year I simply filled it out in a similar way with just a few changes based on the ways she has matured.  For example, this year I added Sweet Pea's preference to play with the boys.  I also made sure to emphasize the fact that she will not eat well while at school.  This particular quirk caused her current teachers some concern and I don't want her new teachers to worry about her going hungry. 

However, I had never analyzed Panda Girl in the ways I pondered my first born.  I suppose that is the way we all are with our later children.  Who has the time to spend pouring over every little detail of a second child?  We are too busy keeping her and her older sister alive to have a spare moment for such a luxury.  Today, however, it was necessary that I turn all my focus onto Panda Girl and think about her special little self.  At first the only way I thought to describe her was as happy and easy going.  While these are true statements about her, certainly I could come up with something more insightful?  I thought about how she spends her time.  She loves to dance.  She loves to read.  She learns amazingly fast.  I realized I have a concern about school: I am concerned that she will not get the attention she deserves at school.  She is so happy and so easy I fear she will fade into the background.  Teachers seem to be consumed by those who are not well disciplined or seem to be the loudest.  I pray Panda Girl will get the attention she needs to continue to learn and grow.

In the past I would not have written this worry down on the form.  I would have brushed it off and told myself that I was being unfair to the teachers.  However, today I realized that since she has yet to start school I am simply writing it as a concern.  At this point my concern is not singling anyone out for not taking proper care of my baby.  I allowed myself to realize that my opinion is valid.  I pray her teachers do not think I have overstepped my boundaries.  I pray they understand I am simply a concerned parent.

I must admit it was fun to think about just Panda Girl for a bit.  She is every bit as important to me as her elder, and louder, sister.  I am in awe of her.  She is amazing and I pray she knows that while she has not had the individual attention her sister has enjoyed she is a blessing from above.

Book Review Time!

Recently I read the book Mommy Tracked by Whitney Gaskell.  This is a "mommy lit" book.  It has some interesting characters and story lines.  However, it is a mindless read at best.  If looking for a light read, I would look elsewhere.  Sorry, just my opinion. 

Panda Girl is Two!

Today Panda Girl is two.  She is my delight.  She is a sweet child with a contagious smile.  Panda Girl is the happiest child I have ever known.  We went to visit her Nana at the hospital this summer, and she found a way to have fun.  I had no idea how much excitement a hospital chair contained until that day.  She brings more laughter and smiles to our faces than I knew possible.  We are blessed to have her in our home every day.  Panda Girl is incredibly coordinated. She has amazing motor skills. She loves it when we read to her. She taught herself the alphabet. She is bright and sweet.

Her favorite things are, of course, pandas.  Today she got a new stuffed panda, a panda necklace and a panda shirt.  She was thrilled with them all.  She also loves Sesame Street.  She was thrilled with her new Abby, Zoe, Grovers, Cookie Monster, and Big Bird.  She loves chocolate and pizza.  She loves to color and paint.  Her favorite part of the day is bath time.  Sweet Pea is her best friend.  Panda Girl copies her every move, parrots her every word. 

I pray she continues to love us the way she does now.  I will always continue to love her more and more.  She will always bring me joy.  She will always be my baby. 

Update on Gluten

Yesterday I ate a bunch of wheat, in the form of blueberry muffins.  I love those whole grain muffins and knew I needed to get them out of the pantry while I was supposed to be eating gluten.  The result?  Extreme pain and nausea most of the night.  It is looking like a diagnosis of celiac disease is in my future.  I suppose it could be pain from not being on an antibiotic anymore, but I doubt it.  Bummer!

To Gluten or Not To Gluten, That is The Question

My tummy problems have continued to abound.  My Internist finally convinced me I needed to visit with the GI doctor as my internist was at a loss for what to do next.  He was out of ideas.  So yesterday I took myself to the GI doc.  He listened to all my symptoms and history.  He noticed I have lost 7 lbs in just over 2 weeks (not a bad side effect).  He did a physical exam.  During the exam he started pushing on my abdomen and I was shocked by how much it hurt.  Once all that was done, he let me know his two ideas for what could be ailing me: gall bladder inflammation and/or stones and celiac disease.  I was shocked.  Celiac disease was not on my radar screen prior to his declaration. 

My favorite foods are wheat based: cake, cookies, bread, scones, donuts, etc.  I know these are not the healthiest foods, but I love them.  If it turns out I do have celiac disease, I will be forbidden from eating them.  There are ways to make these foods with alternative flours.  I will just have to get used to the new flavors and textures. 

I have the tests to determine what is going on next Thursday.  I pray I will be accepting of the test results.  I want to have a good attitude.  I want to give myself a break and allow myself to be sad, if that is how I feel.  So please keep me in your prayers.  Pray for health and answers.  Pray for peace. 

Book Review Time!

As promised, I am trying to catch up on my book reviews.  Today I am reviewing The Little Giant of Aberdeen County by Tiffany Baker.  This is the story of a woman who was born a giant.  Truly was a huge baby and she continued to grow into a huge woman.  She did not fit into any societal norms.  Growing up Truly struggles with being different.  She is essentially the town's sideshow.  The journey her life takes is unexpected and interesting.  Her character development is thorough.  I found myself rooting for her and hoping good things would come her way. 

The story shows how society treats those who are not outwardly beautiful in any way.  It also explores how inward and outward beauty can be totally unrelated.  People's treatment of Truly reminded me of high school.  I was lucky in high school.  I was neither cool nor nerdy.  I had plenty of friends.  However, there was the crowd of beautiful people who loved to ridicule those less physically attractive.  Even as a teenager I knew that those who are very attractive, or at least think they are, tend to be less kind.  This novel is full of 'mean girls' who make Truly's life difficult. 

The story also had a bit of a mystery surrounding it.  All in all it was a delightful read.  It was well-written and well developed.  It is one of those books that makes me not want to read lesser literature again.  It was a true joy to read. 

Book Review Time!

I have to apologize for not reviewing my books lately.  I have continued to read compulsively during my review drought, I have just been lazy about reviewing my literature.  I am going to start with Olive Kitteridge: Fiction by Elizabeth Strout.  This book is totally different from any other I have ever read.  It tells the tales of Olive's life through a series of short stories.  They are mostly told in chronological order.  As a character she is very real.  She has strengths, faults, heartbreaks and triumphs.  She is a mother, wife, teacher and friend.  There are times you love her and times you loath her. 

While at times the chosen style can seem disjointed, in the end I enjoyed the book.  I would not say it was one that I could not put down.  However, if you are looking for a well-written enjoyable book, this is a good read. 

The Invisible Woman

I have clearly been the invisible woman as of late.  Spring always gets away from me.  I suppose that is why it is nice to slow down during the heat of summer.  The last couple of weeks I have been having some abdominal pain.  At its worst it felt like labor contractions.  The can't stand still or imagine sitting or hardly even breathing type of pain.  It was pain that landed me in the emergency room for some anti-cramping meds, blood work and an x-ray.  The next day I went to my internist and he repeated the blood work and ordered a CT scan.  I had also added on a fever to my laundry list of symptoms.  My doctor could see my pain and was kind enough to prescribe a narcotic pain reliever to help get me through the next few days. 

The next day, the cavalry arrived: my parents.  They took me to my appointments (no driving allowed on narcotics).  They picked up the little ladies from preschool and attended my appointments with me.  Oddly, but thankfully, all of my tests were negative.  He gave me antibiotics since my fever indicated some kind of infection. 

This experience has reminded me how much I value my health.  My doctor had been convinced he would be hospitalizing me when I returned to see him after my tests.  God protected me and my family from that scary experience.  I still have no idea what caused this pain.  It is mostly gone, but not entirely.  It has forced me to slow down this week.  I hate slowing down.  My house is a disaster.  I have not made a single dinner all week.  I have had to rely on Husband to feed the girls, clean the kitchen and look the other way when coming home to this dirty house.  However, at the end of it all we have survived intact.  The girls are in need of a bath.  The floor is in need of a good scrubbing.  We all need a nice healthy dinner soon.  However, we are fine. 

I hope to keep this experience in mind when I am feeling overwhelmed.  Clearly I have been taught a lesson this week by the almighty.  God knew I needed a smack to learn the lesson of slowing down and enjoying my family.  I needed to learn to ask for help.  Husband is not disappointed in me or my efforts this week.  I needed to learn to let go of my unreasonable expectations of myself.   While I would have preferred to miss out on the pain, I would not have consented to slowing down without it.  Thus, I praise God for the experience.