Book Review Time!

I am finally attempting to review The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Rubin was riding a bus with her daughter on the way to school one morning. She realized she was not as happy as she should be with her life. She was financially comfortable, she had work she enjoyed, and she had a wonderful family. Thus came a question: Why was she not overwhelmingly happy? What was standing in her way? In that moment The Happiness Project was born.

In order to find a place to start, Rubin started reading everything she could about happiness. Once she had learned about the various happiness theories to which people ascribe, she set out to test them for herself. She had no idea how many of them would apply to her personally. Rubin also realized this was a daunting undertaking, so she broke the theories down into smaller more manageable tasks. To provide structure, she created a theme for each month of the year. Her themes include: Vitality, Marriage, Work, Parenthood, Leisure, Friendship, Money, Eternity, Books, Mindfulness and Attitude. Each theme had several specific resolutions. These resolutions included: laugh out loud, keep a food diary, write a novel, keep a gratitude notebook, give something up, make three new friends, take time to be silly, sing in the morning, ask for help, quit nagging and go to bed earlier. Before she embarked on these months she created twelve personal commandments. These commandments ranged from "Be Gretchen" to "Act the way I want to feel" to "Do it now".

Throughout the book Rubin learns what works to help her happiness each month. Some theories work well, others not nearly as much. She also discovers her own personal "Four Splendid Truths" for her happiness. One of her great discoveries was how keeping her resolutions at the forefront of her mind via a chart was incredibly helpful in maintaining focus. All of these discoveries lead up to a central idea about what truly makes up happiness for her.

All in all I learned much about happiness from reading her book. It helped me understand some of my own obstacles to joy. It has reminded me of what is truly important in life. While I am not currently ready to take on a happiness project of my own, it is an idea that appeals to me. The book was well worth the time to read. I truly enjoyed the ideas and the writing. You will have to read for yourself exactly how she fared in her own project. I hope you do, it will be time well spent. It will not only teach you the theories behind happiness, it may also help you find more joy in your own life.

Excuses, excuses

I have finished two books that I have not reviewed. I need to get on the stick and get it done. Hopefully I can get on it tomorrow. I am still ruminating over how to review each book. I guess we will see what I come up with soon. Thanks for your patience, this has been a crazy week.

Plans

This weekend I was fortunate to be able to head to Atlanta to celebrate a sweet friend's thirtieth birthday. Turning thirty is a big milestone, so I was excited to experience it with her. PL is such a special woman. She is intelligent, kind, and fun. She has a huge heart and is genuine with everyone. Her smile is contagious.

PL is in an exciting phase of her life. In the last year she has met the man of her dreams and been promoted at work. She is enjoying planning a future with CK. He is a great match for her. I am thankful she did not settle for anyone less, as anyone else would have been a disappointment. However, when she was growing up, this is not how she pictured her life at thirty.

While trying to get home on Sunday, I was forced to alter my plans. I had truly enjoyed my time in Atlanta, but I was ready to get home to Husband and the Little Ladies. I missed them. I had a bit of a cold and craved my own bed. I missed my Ally and Sophie greeting me each time I entered the room. It was freezing cold and I had not brought my coat. All in all, I was ready to be home. Unfortunately, the weather had other plans for me. There was a huge storm that tracked all the way from the deep south up to New England. It had all the airports on the eastern side of the country tied up. So, my 4:45 flight was delayed until 11. The announcements kept telling us different things until we finally landed on the real answer: they had to cancel the flight. At this point I had been calling the airport home for about 7 hours. After waiting in a lovely line I was told I could not leave until 1, the next afternoon. It sounded like an eternity. I had been remarkably patient (especially for me), but I was devastated.

I think that is what PL has felt in her life up until this year. She was trying to wait patiently for her dream of CK to become her reality. In the meantime she has been very successful. She has an MBA from a prestigious school. She has travelled the world. She has made the most of her time waiting. While I was not able to do much with my airport time, I did get some reading done. It isn't an MBA, but it was nice.

Thankfully my safe flight home came to fruition the next day without any complications. It was smooth sailing the whole way with nary a bump in sight. While I can't promise PL a totally smooth ride with CK, I have faith that it will be a life full of wonderful journeys.

Obedience

Panda Girl is getting close to that age. That age when tantrums become the norm. That age when her favorite word is "no" (and she is talented at yelling it as loudly as possible). That age where my sweetly (mostly) obedient baby turns into a difficult hot mess of a two year old. She is currently 21 months old. While she does say "no" constantly, she is not too tough yet. I am certain that day is coming and it is coming fast.

While I wish my girls were perfectly obedient, they clearly are not. No one is. Especially me. I know what is healthy and what is not. I understand the choices I make are my responsibility and no one else's. However, I continue to disobey. Why have I this need to rebel? I was never an overtly rebellious kid (smart-mouthed, yes). Of course I broke rules and lied about it from time to time. However, on the balance, I was a good kid. So, why do I find myself being rebellious at 33? Why am I still trying to steal moments of satisfaction at the expense of pure joy? I hate it when I annoy myself!

I suppose I am still a work in progress. I guess at some level I will always be the smart-mouthed teenager. However, that also means that my Panda Girl will always be, at some level, my sweetly obedient baby. For that fact, I am grateful.

Accountablility

A couple weeks ago I set forth some resolutions for myself and my family. Today I want to fill you all in on my progress. Like everyone else, I am better at some resolutions than others.

1. Exercise a minimum of 3 days/week, hopefully 4.
I have kept to three days/week. I have yet to make 4. However, I am going to call this a victory so far. Each of my workouts are a minimum of 45 minutes, which is longer than my old standard of half an hour. Overall, I am quite pleased by my progress on this one.

2. Eat Healthy.
Most days I have eaten really well (Sweet Pea's birthday doesn't count, right). I have "automated" two meals a day. I have egg beaters with low fat cheddar cheese and either a banana or double fiber whole grain toast for breakfast. For lunch I have my "big salad". This salad has a couple cups of spinach, berries, no sugar added mandarin oranges, low fat feta cheese, craisins, crunchy onions, avocado chunks and a small amount of poppy seed dressing. I also add a low sodium, precooked chicken breast. If I run out of chicken then I have a turkey roll up using whole grain wraps with flax seed. For my daily snack (between lunch and dinner) I have light, non fat yogurt with blueberries and a graham cracker. This way I only have to make a decision about dinner. It is easier to behave if I don't have to exercise will power all day.

3. Start insisting my little ladies eat the food placed in front of them. No negotiations. No bribing. Basically they are being told, "Eat what is prepared for you and eat it now. Otherwise you will be waiting for the next snack time or meal time.". It has worked so far, I'm hoping it becomes our new normal.
This works for me with the little ladies. Husband is not totally on board yet with this. Hopefully he will continue improving. This early in the year I am happy with any progress.

4. Get a babysitter and go out with Husband and/or friends twice a month.
We had a babysitter on the 9th and went out to dinner with friends. This weekend I am going to Atlanta to celebrate with a friend as she turns 30. So, January has been successful with this resolution.

5. Get some real work done on our house. There is much to do and I need to start.
I am in the process of purging excess junk, er stuff, from our home. While this may not sound like it relates to this resolution, it is my first step. So far I have purged the playroom, Sweet Pea's bedroom and my closet. Tomorrow (while the little ladies are at preschool and Mother's Day Out) I am going to tackle Panda Girl's Room. Once the purging/rearranging of stuff is complete, I am going to have a garage sale. So, if you visit me between now and then please show me some grace with the mess in our guest room. It is currently the dumping ground for the purged items.

6. Go to bed early. My goal is to get up 30 minutes to an hour before the little ladies wake. I think that time to eat breakfast alone will set me up well for the day. Here's the obstacle: I. Hate. Mornings. Hate them. Always have. I think this will be the most challenging resolution. We'll see how long I can manage it.
As I predicted, this has been the most difficult resolution to keep. I have managed to push bedtime up to 10:30 most nights. My goal is 10. At least I have made progress. The mornings we have to be somewhere (preschool, Mops, whatever) I have been up before the little ladies. This has helped me eat my healthy breakfast each morning too. It has transformed my mood these mornings. Instead of feeling rushed and grumpy, I have been calm and enjoyed my little ladies. (The mornings we don't have to be somewhere have always been pretty good around here.)

I have been happy with my resolutions thus far. It is coincidental that a friend suggested we read The Happiness Project right now. It fits in well with what I am trying to accomplish. It is organized by month, and I am up to August. Once I have finished it, look for a review here. I hope all of you are keeping up with your resolutions. Try to keep yourself accountable if you really want to succeed.

Are you sure Sweet Pea is turning 4?

Today is Sweet Pea's birthday. Four years ago today she entered the world and I have never been the same. My labor with her was complicated. She was eight days late. I had to be induced. After she was born, the NICU team rushed her out of the room to suction her to ensure she didn't get a lung infection from the meconium she passed in utero. Soon the neonatalogist was back in the room telling me how pretty my new baby looked. While that was a sweet compliment, I was much more interested in her health. I was a first time mom and I had not even seen my baby yet. He quickly assured me everything was fine. Finally, Husband walked in holding her. He brought her to me and I was in awe of her.

Bringing her into the world was difficult, painful and amazing. She has taught me more than any teacher ever did in school. She has taught me a new way to love. She inspires me to become a better person so that she can live up to her full potential. She is extremely empathetic. She becomes genuinely concerned when anyone is hurt or upset. She loves other kids. She has a way of quickly befriending sweet little boys who fall for those beautiful browns as she bats her lashes. She is busy. She enjoys anything active. She seems to believe that it is crazy to walk when you can run, since running is much more fun. She loves to laugh and be silly. She adores her baby sister. She gets so excited when Panda Girl is willing to play with her. It is enough to warm this mommy's heart. She is affectionate. She loves to hug us and makes sure we hug her often.

I am starting to see that she is an extraordinary individual. I can see her being a wonderful caretaker someday. I have no idea what she will become as an adult. I am very excited to see. However, I can wait. These last four years have flown by too fast. I am still in denial that she is going to be four (I accidentally bought her a candle that had the number three on it). I just hope she knows that I am proud of her and I love her fiercely.

Happy Birthday Sweet Pea!

Book Review Time!

There is a book I had been wanting to read for a long time. However, I kept pushing it back to "later". I'm not sure why I didn't just take the plunge and read it. I think I was afraid I would be disappointed by the story. It had been hyped by many I know and respect. The book in question is Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. Like me, I am sure you have heard of this book. Don't be afraid of the story, you won't be disappointed.

This book is a memoir/biography of Greg Mortenson. Greg accidentally stumbled into a small Pakistani village on his descent from K2. While there he was taken care of by the village elder and his family. He realized the village did not have a school for the children. In his gratitude for the hospitality extended to him, Greg promised to return and build a school for the village. Thus begins a new direction in Mortenson's life.

The book follows his falterings and successes. It shows the development of his philosophy for building schools. It explains the lack of education in Pakistan and Afghanistan, especially for girls. It shows how much he sacrificed for his vision of education for all children. It also outlines his personal life during the years he was starting up his Central Asia Institute.

It also shows how we, as Americans, are not likely to help poor Muslims yet we jump at the chance to help Buddhists and indigenous peoples. Especially after 9/11 Americans have a tough time understanding the culture in Pakistan, Iran, Afghanistan, etc. We still fear them because of the extremism we have all witnessed in the media. Instead of fearing them, Greg Mortenson has learned to understand them. He has stumbled is way through their culture in a way that is inspiring.

Overall, I found Mortenson's story inspiring. It was not a quick read for me. First, it was over the Christmas holidays. I did not have much reading time to spare. Second, it really made me think. I would stop reading and just think about what I had just learned from the book. I wish the story had been told in first person. I think that would have given the story a bigger emotional punch. However, it is well written and interesting. Thus, I recommend the book and hope it opens you up to a new way of thinking.

Awesome Day

Before I was a parent, I had a picture in my mind of how my days would run as a stay at home mom. My girls (I always pictured myself with two girls) would be in pristine coordinating outfits. They would love to sit still and read books. It would be easy to take them anywhere. I would be thin and stylish. My home would be in order. Husband would come home from work and we would feel connected. We would love to go out together, without guilt.

Clearly the reality was a shock. I love the little ladies more than I ever thought possible. That aspect of parenting has been a fantastic surprise. There are days when the girls stay in the pajamas all day because we are not going anywhere that day. While I love my girls just the way they are, they are not wallflowers. Sitting still is not part of their DNA. There are days I have not been able to shower, much less exercise. Husband and I have gone months at a time without getting out just the two of us.

While motherhood has not at all been what I expected, there are so many days filled with joy. A joy that comes from down in your bones. A joy that transcends your mood and situation. Many of those days are special occasions: Christmas, birthdays, Thanksgiving. However, there are some ordinary days that can take your breath away.

Today has been one of those fabulous days. It started with my moms' group. I love going to MOPS. The little ladies play with friends for three hours. I get adult conversation with women who are living through the same life situations. They truly understand my life. These are smart and funny women. I truly enjoy their company. After MOPS the girls and I went to our favorite pizza buffet (don't worry I didn't overindulge). The little ladies had a great time and the food was great. We got home and three deliveries I had been expecting were already at the door. It was nice to realize I didn't have to worry about the doorbell ringing during nap time. Two of the deliveries were Panda Girl's reflux medications and her diapers. Not thrilling, but necessary. The third delivery was my new camera lens. I got a new camera for Christmas. It is awesome. All I needed was a bigger zoom and now I have it. I immediately started using it to capture the little ladies. It is as wonderful as I had hoped. Tonight I am going to the gym to be tortured by Jesus (the Latin fitness instructor, not the Messiah) for an hour. I plan to stay and have a steam and relax. It is going to be so fun to relax on my own.

It has been a wonderful day. While it is not the day I pictured in my fantasies, it has been amazing. I would not change any part of this day.

Resolutions

Like most people, I have resolutions this year. I know mine are typical, but they are mine nonetheless. My resolutions are not just for myself, but for my family as well.


Here they are:

1. Exercise a minimum of 3 days/week, hopefully 4.

2. Eat healthy. I'm talking salads and quinoa. Egg white omelets and whole grain toast.

3. Start insisting my little ladies eat the food placed in front of them. No negotiations. No bribing. Basically they are being told, "Eat what is prepared for you and eat it now. Otherwise you will be waiting for the next snack time or meal time.". It has worked so far, I'm hoping it becomes our new normal.

4. Get a babysitter and go out with Husband and/or friends twice a month.

5. Get some real work done on our house. There is much to do and I need to start.

6. Go to bed early. My goal is to get up 30 minutes to an hour before the little ladies wake. I think that time to eat breakfast alone will set me up well for the day. Here's the obstacle: I. Hate. Mornings. Hate them. Always have. I think this will be the most challenging resolution. We'll see how long I can manage it.

Do you have any resolutions this year? I would love to hear about them. Any more original than mine? Cheers and Happy New Year!

Routine

As a parent I believe children need structure. In my opinion, kids gain confidence when they know what is coming next. I think that is why kids love shows that follow a pattern or want the same book read to them over and over again. I am certain that is why Sweet Pea is constantly asking the same questions (even when she already knows the answer).

The holidays are a wonderful season. I love the family time and the decorations and the food, so much food. I am also glad it is over. I am ready to eat healthy. I am ready to exercise. I am ready for the girls to go back to preschool and Mother's Day Out. I am excited for my moms group this week. I can't wait to have time to read again.