Thursday, January 21, 2010

Obedience

Panda Girl is getting close to that age. That age when tantrums become the norm. That age when her favorite word is "no" (and she is talented at yelling it as loudly as possible). That age where my sweetly (mostly) obedient baby turns into a difficult hot mess of a two year old. She is currently 21 months old. While she does say "no" constantly, she is not too tough yet. I am certain that day is coming and it is coming fast.

While I wish my girls were perfectly obedient, they clearly are not. No one is. Especially me. I know what is healthy and what is not. I understand the choices I make are my responsibility and no one else's. However, I continue to disobey. Why have I this need to rebel? I was never an overtly rebellious kid (smart-mouthed, yes). Of course I broke rules and lied about it from time to time. However, on the balance, I was a good kid. So, why do I find myself being rebellious at 33? Why am I still trying to steal moments of satisfaction at the expense of pure joy? I hate it when I annoy myself!

I suppose I am still a work in progress. I guess at some level I will always be the smart-mouthed teenager. However, that also means that my Panda Girl will always be, at some level, my sweetly obedient baby. For that fact, I am grateful.

1 comment:

  1. Z&L learned NO and disobedience out of the womb. There are days when I can't imagine how their "terrible twos" are going to get worse. And then they wake up the next day. only 19 months now.

    I remember when lily was 10 months old and I said, Lily, put your pacifier in your mouth. She looked at me, looked at the pacifier and then threw it hard onto the floor. I thought, oh no. already?

    ReplyDelete