Mirror, mirror

When I was pregnant for the first time, I remember looking in the mirror and at Husband and imagining how this baby would look. My expectation was that she would look just like me.

Sweet Pea is my oldest child. She taught me how to be a mom. She showed me how much a heart can grow to accommodate a child. She has taught me patience. She is everything I expected her to be, yet she is not the child I envisioned when I was pregnant. Sweet Pea has my eyes, that can't be disputed. Those eyes are her most remarkable feature. They seem to look through you. Those eyes are where the physical resemblance begins and ends. She looks so much like her daddy, it is crazy. However no one ever called her a boy, even as a baby.

I also imagined this little girl would have her daddy's personality. He is brilliant, kind, amiable, patient and thoughtful. These are the traits I wanted my child to possess. So what happened? She is just like me. She has no patience. She craves attention all the time. She is a perfectionist. She frustrates really easily. She is bossy. These are my traits which I like the least. So, of course they are the ones Sweet Pea inherited.

One would think since I understand her so well that I would be patient with these flaws. However, I find myself getting irritated. Not so much at her, but at myself (well, sometimes at her too). It is not fun to see your worst traits on display in your beautiful little girl. Don't get me wrong, she is sweet and sympathetic and curious. These are all wonderful gifts that far outweigh the flaws. Thus, I suppose I did get a mini version of myself, just not in the way I expected.

Thankfully I would not change her a bit. I just have to learn to love the flaws in her. And I do. The unexpected part is that she is teaching me to love my own flaws too. This is a lesson I never expected but appreciate deeply. I suppose that is why she is like me. God knew he had to teach me to fully embrace myself. He also knew the best way to do that was through my sweet child.