Hidden in Darkness

The little ladies love to play hide and go seek. The hiding places are rarely unique, but it is fun nonetheless. One of their favorite places to hide is in our back stairwell. If the light is kept off, you would not think there are stairs behind the cabinet that doubles as a door. The darkness is the key to this particular hiding place.

I went back to MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) today at church. Once again, I was glad I went and had a great time. We didn't have a speaker today. Today we spent the day getting to know the other women in the organization. We moved around to different tables and talked to ladies who are not in our assigned small groups.

As one can expect, some groups were great and others were not so great. During the last rotation we were to open up to the other women. The idea was to share something going on in our lives. Something to the other women could lift up in prayer. I was instantly nervous when I quickly realized that most women in my current group were not comfortable sharing anything personal. The first prayer request was for a father to become a Christian. While that is a lovely prayer request, it did not seem to fit the parameters of the exercise. I mean seriously people! Those of us who are Christians all have people in our lives who are not. In the grand scheme of things I understand this is an important issue. However, in this setting it did not seem appropriate since her aforementioned father doesn't even live in the same state. It hardly qualified as a personal issue. It seemed like she was giving us the answer she thought we would want to hear at church. Inwardly, I hoped the next woman would be more up front with us. She was a little better. At least her request involved someone who lived under her same roof. Her husband is unhappy at work. While it is not fun to live with someone who is struggling at work, I was disappointed that once again it was not that personal a request.

I was up next. I took a deep breath and thought, why wasn't this asked in that third discussion group? Those women were easier to talk to and seemed invested in the exercise. However, few things in life are that easy. While I lamented my situation, I realized that I was at a crossroads. I could take the easy road and ask for patience with my family or I could be honest and open up about my current struggle. Would these women, who seemed bent on putting a very polished face forward, judge me? If they did judge me, what was the worst that would come of said judgement? Is one of these women struggling with this same issue and just too ashamed to open up? If so, would my honesty be helpful? I am proud to say I decided on full, although brief, disclosure. I didn't feel the need to go into gory details, but I didn't sugar-coat my life either.

While the next two ladies did not really open up much, I felt respected. (One of those ladies asked us to pray that she could get her three year old back on track memorizing scripture. Once again, a nice idea but not something I bought as a "struggle".) One of the women later told me she thought I was brave. While I am not looking for praise, I did appreciate it. I felt somewhat validated. Who knows, maybe she is struggling too. Maybe she is not ready to come forward publicly with a private battle. I only hope that by putting myself "out there" that I can shed some light on a common problem that has been hidden in darkness for far too long. Let's face it, it is not for someone else to come find us and pull us out of our dark hiding places. We need to come out into the light by ourselves.