Perfectly Imperfect

I am someone who is highly critical of myself. I expect superhuman efforts and results. I often think of needing sleep as a weakness. I like to think that I am above normal human needs. Clearly, this has caused me some issues. I'm not sure why my expectations are so crazy. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. I suppose it is just my personality coupled with being an oldest child.

I have always been a perfectionist. In many ways this has been an asset. It propelled me to get good grades. I was good at my job in the corporate world because I would not accept results that were sub par. However, in more ways it has been a detriment. I have not tried new things for fear of failure. It has been very hard on my self esteem. Let's face it. I'm human. If I expect perfection, I am going to be - and have been - disappointed constantly.

I spent a large portion of this week on a sewing project. I wanted to learn how to sew and I made a quilt for Sweet Pea. She helped me choose the fabric and each day she would ask me if I was finished yet. Last night after the little ladies were tucked into bed I finally finished. Sweet Pea was thrilled when she got up this morning and it was waiting for her. As I write she is snuggled up under the quilt watching Sesame Street. She must really love that quilt because it is 82 degrees in here.


While I am really happy with how much Sweet Pea loves her new blanket, to me it is riddled with imperfections. The quilt would not win any awards. It was clearly a first attempt. Regardless, Sweet Pea loves it. So I am choosing to see the beauty in my creation. I like that I had a goal. I like that I had to use my brain to solve the problems that cropped up along the way. I like that it was a creative project. Thus, I am choosing to see the beauty in it, especially in the flaws.