Everyone Loves a Parade, Right?

I have odd children.  They do not love parades.  They actually dislike parades, as was confirmed yesterday.  We attended the annual rodeo parade.  Historically it rains on this parade.  This year was cold, but clear.  Thus, the entire city bundled up and headed downtown to watch the horses, bands and floats.  We were no different.  We arrived promptly at 10, the appointed time of the start of the parade.  Apparently, we were about a half hour late to get a good spot.  So, we threw the little ladies on our shoulders and watched the show.  For about 15 minutes.  Then the girls were done.  Sweet Pea had put herself back into the stroller and Panda Girl was whining.  We had thought this would be a fun activity.  Clearly we were mistaken.

Our lives have changed since the little ladies arrived on the scene.  We have been fortunate to meet many great people with kids the same ages as our girls.  We feel grateful to have people to share in our triumphs and, more importantly, in our defeats.  However, I sometimes miss my other friends.  The friends who do not have children.  We had so much in common five years ago.  Now, very little.  Since my life revolves around the little ladies at this stage, I have a difficult time relating to the issues of office politics.  My heart does not belong to my career.  It belongs to my family.  Not only that, the career aspirations I once held dear have evaporated.  The activities we once enjoyed together can seem pointless, a bit of a waste of time. 

However, I do have friends I truly miss. When I am with them I usually enjoy the company.  Many of them have wonderful stories and are highly entertaining.  The problem comes up when I do not feel free to talk about my little ladies.  I become just a mom, not a the dynamic person of my past.  It is an odd thing to have been where they are now, have some memories of that time, and know they have no way of relating to me.  Some of them want to relate, others wish they could relate, the minority want to forget how different I am now.  They want things to be as they were five years ago. 

I feel as if I am at a parade.  People are having fun all around me.  The people I am with are fun people.  They have not changed.  I have changed.  The flash I see around me is impressive, but it isn't me.  These days I just want to snuggle up to my sweet husband with a glass of wine at the end of the day.  I want to spend time talking to him about our girls.  No one understands them like we do, and I enjoy sharing the experience with him.  To me, that is the most enjoyable activity of all.