Pondering Panda Girl

Today I am recuperating from my upper endoscopy and trying to start eating gluten-free.  My goal today was to be productive, but not have to exert too much.  I looked at my desk, leaden with paperwork, and saw the preschool enrollment forms I have been ignoring.  I decided today was the perfect opportunity to conquer the mountain.  I signed all the requisite safety forms.  Filled out the directory information for both little ladies.  Then I got to the questionnaire asking specific information about each little lady.  It is extensive.  I filled it out last year for Sweet Pea.  Thus I had spent time last year pondering the intricacies of her personality.  I had explored her idiosyncrasies and dutifully written copious explanations regarding her unique traits.  So, this year I simply filled it out in a similar way with just a few changes based on the ways she has matured.  For example, this year I added Sweet Pea's preference to play with the boys.  I also made sure to emphasize the fact that she will not eat well while at school.  This particular quirk caused her current teachers some concern and I don't want her new teachers to worry about her going hungry. 

However, I had never analyzed Panda Girl in the ways I pondered my first born.  I suppose that is the way we all are with our later children.  Who has the time to spend pouring over every little detail of a second child?  We are too busy keeping her and her older sister alive to have a spare moment for such a luxury.  Today, however, it was necessary that I turn all my focus onto Panda Girl and think about her special little self.  At first the only way I thought to describe her was as happy and easy going.  While these are true statements about her, certainly I could come up with something more insightful?  I thought about how she spends her time.  She loves to dance.  She loves to read.  She learns amazingly fast.  I realized I have a concern about school: I am concerned that she will not get the attention she deserves at school.  She is so happy and so easy I fear she will fade into the background.  Teachers seem to be consumed by those who are not well disciplined or seem to be the loudest.  I pray Panda Girl will get the attention she needs to continue to learn and grow.

In the past I would not have written this worry down on the form.  I would have brushed it off and told myself that I was being unfair to the teachers.  However, today I realized that since she has yet to start school I am simply writing it as a concern.  At this point my concern is not singling anyone out for not taking proper care of my baby.  I allowed myself to realize that my opinion is valid.  I pray her teachers do not think I have overstepped my boundaries.  I pray they understand I am simply a concerned parent.

I must admit it was fun to think about just Panda Girl for a bit.  She is every bit as important to me as her elder, and louder, sister.  I am in awe of her.  She is amazing and I pray she knows that while she has not had the individual attention her sister has enjoyed she is a blessing from above.